I recently learned that I come from people in Siberia who sometimes had to defend themselves from wolves with their bare hands. I’m telling you that first because the thing that kept them alive is the same thing you need in order to live your most authentic life here in the USA.
My grandfather’s family were horsemen in the Siberian taiga, where the cold could kill you and the wolves circled the camps and picked off horses, dogs, and people. They survived on grit and fought for their freedom. When the communist revolution came, a lot of them lost everything because they were deemed to have too many horses and belongings. Many of them were eventually scattered throughout the country.
By the time my parents were born, grew up, and met, my dad had found himself in Estonia (which is in Eastern Europe), completely separated from that life, but he never stopped telling us about the brave horsemen who could flip down and pick up a handkerchief off the ground while riding full gallop. Ah, the legends!
We eventually fled the Soviet Union altogether as it collapsed. Mom and Dad had always felt oppressed in the USSR for believing in God. They were freedom-loving rebels that never really fit. So, freedom is not a slogan in my family. It’s the thing we crossed the world for and paid for with everything we left behind. But the freedom we found in the USA was amazing. Not that it’s been perfect or easy; no, we have to work hard here too. But it’s safer. It’s a land of opportunity. I will forever be grateful for being able to come here when I was 10.
The Day There Were No Time Zones in Our Country and Time Stood Still
Like many of you, I have the memory of what I was torn away from as I heard the news of the two airplanes pummeling into the Twin Towers burned into memory. I got a call on my non-smartphone, “Look at the news.” I couldn’t very well look at the news. I was a brand new 2nd grade teacher, and it was central time in Kansas City, Missouri, so a little earlier in the day than EDT. Soon, I was able to sneak a peek at the news when the kids went off to music. They always went to music on Tuesdays.
The reverberations of the shocking events created what I can only describe as a time warp. I couldn’t imagine going back to work for the rest of the week. I felt like I needed to go to a funeral or have time to grieve. Nobody I knew was involved. I had never even really traveled to NYC, except for stopping there briefly to change planes as we arrived from Europe when my family came here as refugees. But it felt personal. I felt numb.
My family had come to the country only a little over a decade before that. These things didn’t happen here. Until they did.
Sometimes Moving On IS The Win
Twenty-five years gives a person time to think. There’s no redemption story in this. It’s just a quiet story to honor the loss and remind us how precious freedom is. I love freedom and am reminded daily how important it is to think for ourselves, to have courage to face the things that we need to face in order to live our best lives, and to conquer the monsters that live inside us so we never give up.
This substack was supposed to be a blog about using color and style to look your best for any occasion. But I don’t think in compartments, and I don’t think many of us do.
I think in connections and reflection.
As I reflect on that day, I’m reminded of courage and how much of it is required just to keep going sometimes, just to believe, “I will be ok.”
Think of what our parents and ancestors went through to provide the opportunities we’ve had.
Do you have any family stories of bravery and courage that have been passed down from your parents? I bet you do somewhere. Maybe your ancestors crossed an ocean for freedom? Maybe they had to stand up to oppression? Maybe some of them were persecuted? Maybe you had to claw your way out of poverty? I would love to hear and celebrate it!
As you know, I’ve expanded my writing lately to true confidence, and this is becoming more and more exciting as I see how much courage it takes just to be confident and live the life we actually choose. It’s a prize worth fighting for.
Your brightest future awaits!
Until next time,
Tatyana